Yay! Hip hip hooray it’s iPhone day! Woo hoo! My life has meaning once again! I just can’t wait to get my hands on the latest iPhone! OMG It’s gonna be sooooooo awesome….

“I’ll take ‘Reasons I almost deleted my twitter account today’ for $100, Alex.”

So the iPhone announcement has come and gone. Middle aged women are all googly and atwitter with the latest golden beauty to roll from Cupertino. It’s basically awesome, and no one really knows why.

I mean on the face of it, the iPhone 5(X) seems not too shabby. The “cheap” iPhone is rolling out of the factory at a mere $100 on contract, while the “top shelf variety” comes at the usual $199. Wait.  I am writing this in 2013 right?

Or is it 2012? Or 2011? Or pretty much every year after the first iPhone. But this is newer and prettier – to some. So let’s take a look at just what the most forward thinking phone in the world has to offer.

5s-launchThere’s gold on them thar phones

First of all, it’s gold. No seriously, it’s gold. As in gold colored. While we’ve gotten used to black and white iPhones from yesterday, now iPhone is tossing gold into the ring – presumably because…well…I don’t know.  But it’s gold.

The iPhone 5C meanwhile comes in a variety of shoe colors, because no one’s ever done that before. It’s innovative people.  Now get in line. The iPhone 5C is also “unapologetically plastic” and I can support the “unapologetically” part. Yeah. It’s plastic. Deal with it! But as far as being a “cheap” iPhone, I’m not so sure $99 off contract or $549 on contract qualify. Unless you’re comparing to the Motorola X that is.

64 bit64 what? Nevermind

The iPhone 5S also brings the world’s first 64-bit processor to a phone, which sounds really important and impressive. Maybe not 41 megapixels important. But it’s important. Now get in line! We have technical specification gurus on staff who will explain to you why this is important. I’m sure it’s faster, and more powerful but they’ll be able to tell you how measurable it will be.

Apple has also added a fingerprint scanner to its hawtness – because that’s what all the hip kids want these days. Seriously, beyond geeks and corporate professionals, no one will care. Joe Blow user won’t care and for the most part probably won’t use it, assuming it’s optional.

A nod to HTC

The iPhone also added pseudo-ultra-pixels to their camera along with two different color flashes, presumably because it will be a lot more satisfying to turn off two flashes rather than just one. In all honesty I’m sure the iPhone 5S will continue to be the second best mobile camera on the planet, but really in the camera environment, Nokia is still standing alone on top of that mountain.

“We’ve read all this already Adam.” Yeah, I know, but I had to recap it just in case someone blindly stumbled across our site that this was the very first article they clicked on. What does this mean for Windows Phone?

flatteryMore of the same

Well, not a whole lot actually. Nokia tweeted that indeed, imitation is the highest form of flattery referring to the iPhone 5C’s array of colors compared to that of the Lumias. It’s a cute shot, but still a shot. Really, the iPhone brought very little new to the table except a 64 bit processor – a vague concept that the average user won’t know squat about, but will be fun to brag about at parties – and a fingerprint scanner for security – which is nice if you are in a position to need more security than a pass code. To be perfectly honest, the jury is still out as to how useful/awesome the fingerprint scanner will be in real life. No Apple demo in the world will convince me it’s the bee’s knees until I see it in practice. Are you listening to me Siri?

You want to compare cameras? Um ok..

The new camera “Features” Apple talked about interested me little at all, but again, it remains to be seen how these work in the real world. Maybe Apple can bring back the flash with their two-tone light bulbs. I’m not so sure. To this day, just about everyone I know turns off their flash on their phones because, it just doesn’t look good. So maybe this is the way to go. We’ll see.

Beyond that, the iPhone 5S/5C announcements affect the Windows Phone landscape in a very minimal way, except for possibly one thing.

chinaThe China-factor

Releasing the iPhone in China at the same time as everywhere else could be intriguing. China is among those “emerging markets” that smartphone OEM’s crave, so bringing the Chinese into the fold from the get-go could be huge for Apple. Recent studies have shown that Apple has been growing, but not as fast as the rest of the smartphone using population of the world has been growing. Putting their iPhone in front of a couple of billion more eyes at launch could very well slow or even reverse that trend. Maybe not at the 550 USD price point, but it’ll help.

Beyond that though, I’m no more tempted to buy an iPhone today than I was yesterday. While a fingerprint scanner and 64 bit processor are (sorta) new to the smartphone landscape, Apple’s adoption could make those features more ubiquitous, or they could go the way of Apple Maps. A blip and then soon forgotten. But I seriously doubt either of those features, nor a gold phone will stall the adoption rate of Windows Phone.  Microsoft is doing a good enough job with that on its own.

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