T-Mobile ONEsie is the world’s first full body wearable, and it’s only part April Fools’ hoax

Wait, is it April Fools’ Day already? Technically, not yet, but T-Mobile’s latest (overly elaborate) prank probably wouldn’t have got enough exposure on a Saturday, instead going official… and on actual sale early.

Yes, you can really buy a ridiculous yet also awesome-looking T-Mobile ONEsie for a limited time only, though you’ll be paying $40 on a “dumb” magenta-colored poly cotton one-piece suit.

Jokingly billed as the future of both fashion and wearables, the T-Mobile ONEsie was of course designed by “genius visionary” John Legere to include Bluetooth, GPS and especially 4G LTE connectivity all over your body.

Until now, a very serious and pretentious promo narrator claims, all wearables have been “complete and utter crap.” Not this one. Your fitness tracking is taken to a whole new level, as you get to embody it and gain “unparalleled access to the detailed biodata you couldn’t possibly need or ever hope to comprehend.”

Forget basic step counters, distance monitors and burned calories estimators. With T-Mobile ONEsie, you gain insight into posture, perspiration, odor and bladder level. But the highlight of this imaginary product’s list of groundbreaking (and useless) features is undoubtedly unlimited Human Hotspot functionality, which your nearby friends on “lame-ass” networks will surely appreciate.

All joking aside, we have to give it to T-Mo and CEO Legere for coming up with a pretty great April Fools’ gag. It’s silly, but far from cringeworthy, and it manages to poke fun at Verizon, traditional wearable makers, John Legere himself and even the color magenta.

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About The Author
Adrian Diaconescu
Adrian has had an insatiable passion for writing since he was in school and found himself writing philosophical essays about the meaning of life and the differences between light and dark beer. Later, he realized this was pretty much his only marketable skill, so he first created a personal blog (in Romanian) and then discovered his true calling, which is writing about all things tech (in English).