“Practically magic.” It’s not the greatest advertising slogan ever, but it’s definitely better than “It just works” or “The only thing that’s changed is everything.” It’s catchy, not overly misleading, and when combined with a decent storyline, as well as a relatable, likable main character, it “just works” to highlight the near-magical strengths of the iPhone 7 on TV and YouTube.

Specifically, those long overdue powerful stereo speakers, plus the new iOS handheld duo’s respectable water resistance. No, it’s probably not wise to take them with you while swimming, especially after a high-platform dive.

But a few splashes of H2O aren’t going to harm the in-demand 4.7 and 5.5-incher, or muffle the triumphant sound of Arturo Sandoval’s “La Virgen de la Macarena” trumpet piece, as you show everybody off at the local pool. Don’t hurt yourself trying something like this in real life, though. The iPhone 7’s “magic” can’t quite protect you from public humiliation or serious head injuries. Apple may try to suggest so in a future commercial, but it’s all smoke and mirrors.

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