Is Apple indirectly acknowledging the grotesque nature of the first ever iPhone without a headphone jack in tow, pleading for holiday shoppers to look beneath the surface? Probably not, and Tim Cook would not take kindly to the 2-in-1 iPad Pro tablet line being likened to Frankenstein’s monster either.

To be perfectly frank (pun intended), we’re not sure exactly what Frankie, aka Mary Shelley’s literary creature, has to do with iDevices. Or the heartwarming holiday season. But often, when it comes to publicity stunts not involving silly celebrity cameos, Cupertino will try to randomly link a generic social message, corny music and/or cheesy short story to its always popular gadgets.

This time, the not-very-subtle “subtext” of Apple’s early Christmas commercial is “open your heart to everyone”, with gentle giant Brad Garrett of “Everybody Loves Raymond” fame playing, well, a gentle giant looking all frightening on the outside while wishing nothing more than to express his warm and fuzzy feelings inside to a non-torch-wielding mob.

It turns out a couple of strategically-placed colored light bulbs, a few clumsily-carried “Home for the Holidays” lyrics, and a courageous and helpful little girl are all a monster needs to earn social acceptance nowadays. I’m not crying, you’re crying!