Remember when Alcatel was still Alcatel OneTouch, and alongside a cross-platform Go Watch, rugged Go Play phone and a bunch of other forgettable low-cost handhelds, it showcased this eccentric 17-incher ironically dubbed Xess at IFA Berlin?

You probably don’t, especially as the TCL-owned brand had far more interesting things to unveil since last September, including the Fierce XL with Windows 10 Mobile, Idol 4 and Idol 4S Android flagships, and convertible PLUS 10 Win tablet.

But the head-scratching Alcatel Xess somewhat surprisingly escapes vaporware status now, heading for the US in a couple of weeks. Specifically, online North American sales will kick off on April 22, at a special price of $500.

Humorously presented as “a tablet so different we can’t call it a tablet” back when it was first announced, the Android colossus apparently found its vocation in the meantime. As such, instead of being referred to as a tablet, the Xess is billed “the perfect kitchen accessory” in Alcatel’s latest press release.

It also oddly carries TCL branding on its back, with a respectable spec sheet composed of a 17.3-inch Full HD display, “all-day” 9,600 mAh battery, octa-core 1.5GHz MediaTek processor, 3GB RAM, 32GB expandable storage, and dual 3-watt speakers boasting JBL Audio technology.

Of course, Alcatel (or should we say TCL?) focuses its publicity copy elsewhere, highlighting the convenient built-in adjustable stand, pre-loaded cooking software, as well as free bundled access to Nickelodeon content to keep your kids both close-by and busy while you prepare them the best family meal that new recipe app can recommend.