If you want your device to say “Excuse me boss, you have a text message” whenever you have an SMS (much better than a “ding” or a chime, in my opinion), follow these steps:

1. Right click, Save this mp3 file to your desktop

2. Drop it in the /Windows folder on your device

3. Go Start>Settings>Sounds/Notifications>Messaging: New Text Message. Choose ExcuseMe.