TLDR: Putting a thick case on a thin phone is tasteless. Stop it.

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I saw something the other day that made me sad. Very sad. It was a slim, sleek, ultra light Samsung GSIII, with a freaking BMW strapped to it. Ok, so it wasn’t a BMW, but it was a case that looked like a snow tire wrapped around the phone. The back of the phone was literally 1 cm off the table top.

Dang, it was ugly.

And the sheer size of these monstrosities. Manufacturers put so much money into making their phones thin and light, and then we consumers take that design a chuck it right out the window for the cheapest piece of rubber we can pull off a shelf at a mall kiosk. It’s a sickness really. One step short of its own Dustin Hoffman movie.

Of course, some of you want to protect your phones. They cost arms and legs and all sorts of appendages after all. Shouldn’t that warrant a little extra caution? Of course it should. But some of these behemoths that are being passed off as cases are just stupid thick.

Besides, if you want to hold a tank, buy a Lumia 920. Critics say its major flaws are weight and thickness (and in some cases Windows Phone, but that’s a different conversation). But with that comes a fair amount of durability, including sustaining a hit from a pitching machine or a toss of 20 feet into the air and coming back relatively unscathed. And that’s without a case. You put a case on that bad boy and you’ve got yourself a workable boat anchor.

raiders_of_the_lost_ar-wareSome argue that cases help protect a phone from life’s little nicks and scratches. They say they don’t want their beautiful phone to be marred by keys, or other such accessories which reside in one’s purse or pocket. But what’s the point of preserving such a beautiful design if by doing so you’re obscuring it in the first place. Why not just box up the Mona Lisa and toss it into the Raiders of the Lost Ark warehouse so we can keep beautiful too? Because that would be silly, right?

But to go out and pick up an HTC One, Sony Xperia, or even an iPhone and wrap it in bubble wrap is perfectly fine. Never mind that you’re virtually undoing everything the OEM was striving for when this phone was merely a sketch on a drafting table. There is simply no point in worrying about weight and thickness if you’re going to convert it into a bumper car. You’re just keeping your slim, pretty, expensive phone safe by making it ugly. That’s not a trade-off I’m comfortable with.

Ever been to a house where Mom keeps a plastic cover on the couch to “keep it nice”? Sure, once. Did you ever go back?

Yuck

Yuck

The Pocketnow TLDR is a series of sub-500-word editorials aimed at getting you in, out, and back to life. Comment is always invited below, as well as on Facebook, Twitter, and Google Plus.

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About The Author
Adam Doud
Adam joined the tech world after watching Jon Rubenstein demo the most epic phone ever at CES 2009. He is webOS enthusiast, Windows Phone fan, and Android skeptic. He loves the outdoors, is an avid Geocacher, Cubs/Blackhawks fan, and family man living in Sweet Home Chicago, where he STILL hosts monthly webOS meetups (Don’t call it a comeback!). He can be found tweeting all things tech as @DeadTechnology, or chi-town sports at @oneminutecubs.Read more about Adam Doud!